My Confessions
by nothingbuttrouble202
Summary: Demi was depressed and she cut, a lot. Her friends knew but didn't know what to do so they ignored the scars that appeared. She had given up on hope of ever stopping, that was until one girl, Selena, found out and was determined to save her life. Rated T for self-harm.


**A/N: I know this isn't a Middle of Nowhere update, but I was looking through older works of mine and I found this. It reminded me of everything that I had been through last year and as much as it pains me to say this, this is based off of something that did happen to me. I exaggerated a bit, like the part where someone actually offered to help me, and cutting at school.**

**Okay, okay, I'll stop with the personal stuff now, things are better than last year. I hope you guys like this even though it's extremely depressing and personal. Tell me what you think! **

It was all too much. After fourth period was over I avoided my friends, going straight to the girls restroom, looking myself into the first available stall, pulling down my jeans, taking out my scissors and dug them into my leg, causing blood to surface almost instantly.

This time was different. The cuts were deeper and more intense that what I have done before. I just couldn't stop. Looking down at my leg I felt nauseous; there was so much blood. Seeing it all made me register the pain. I bit my lip to hold back my sobs, but it didn't help. They didn't soften or silence. Luckily, no one tried to find the source of the pain filled cries and left me alone.

I didn't realize just how many cuts I made, how much more blood had surfaced, or how long I had been in the stall until I heard the bell ring, letting everyone know lunch was over. I quickly grabbed a handful of toilet paper and cleaned the cuts as best I could, trying to stop the bleeding.

I heard the one minute warning bell so I quickly pulled myself together and limped to class. I could feel the blood seeping through my pants and eyes widening as I made my way down the hall with their horrified expressions.

I stumbled into the classroom and hurried to my seat, which was conveniently near the door. My entrance earned me a few puzzled looks but I just shook them off.

"Are you alright?" The girl who sat next to me asked.

I think her name was Selena. All I knew about her was that she's a cheerleader.

"I'm fine." I mumbled, not making eye contact.

"Oh my God!" She shrieked, causing heads to turn and look in our direction. "You're bleeding!" She continued to yell.

"Shut up!" I hissed quietly.

"Is there a problem?" The teacher asked, standing in front of our desks.

"No." I quickly answered.

She looked at Selena.

"No." She said reluctantly.

"Good, now do your warm up." The teacher said before walking back to her desk.

"Why are you bleeding?!" Selena whispered.

"I must have hit my leg against something at lunch. It's no big deal so drop it." I hissed.

"If it was no big deal you wouldn't be so defensive." She hissed back.

"Just drop it! It's none of your business."

"Girls! Quiet!" The teacher yelled from across the room.

Selena got up and made her way over to the teachers' desk and whispered something in her ear. The teacher nodded and Selena made her way back over to me. "Come on." She said.

"Excuse me?"

"I told her you were bleeding and she told me I could help clean you up. Now, let's go."

"I'm not going anywhere with you."

"Yes, you are." Selena grabbed me by the wrist and dragged me out of the classroom and into the restroom. "Pull down your pants." She demanded.

"No."

She glared at me.

I sighed and slowly pulled down my jeans to where the cuts ended.

Selena gasped and tears formed in her eyes. "Shit, did you do this to yourself?" She asked looking up at me.

"She said you had to help me clean up. She never said we had to talk."

She sighed, feeling defeated and began to treat my cuts in silence. "You shouldn't do this to yourself, especially at school. It's not very subtle."

I stayed silent, refusing to tell her anything. "There," She said standing up. "Just change the band-aids when you get home and disinfect it at least twice a day."

"Thanks." I mumbled, pulling up my jeans.

"I know we aren't exactly friends' but-"

"We should be getting back to class now." I cut her off, walking to the door, not waiting to see if she was following me or not.

What right did she have to tell me what I should and shouldn't do? Like she said, we weren't friends. I know that cutting only makes things worse, I want to stop, but nothing else helps. It's an addiction I feel the need to continue to feed.

I walked back into my classroom, ignoring the questioning looks from the other students in the room, wishing I would just disappear.

A few minutes later, Selena returned to the classroom. Honestly, she looked disturbed by what she had seen what I had done to myself. I didn't blame her though; I was disturbed by it as well.

Class finally ended, my legs felt sore and it hurt to walk. Selena looked over at me and put an arm around my shoulder, supporting me. I wanted to protest, but knew that I was in no position to do so. I needed her help to walk whether I liked it or not.

"Thank you." I mumbled when we reached my last class of the day.

She simply nodded and walked away, sadness in her eyes.

As if I wasn't depressed enough, knowing that I've hurt someone else made me feel even worse. Why was I such a screwed up mess? Why couldn't I just be happy for once in my life?

I walked home and found my house empty. I still felt horrible and was in need or more relief. I decided to punish myself more. There was no more room on my thighs so I resorted to my wrists.

_Just end it. This world is better off. Stop punishing yourself and just do it already. _I thought to myself, knife hovering over my wrist.

All it would take would be to cut as deep as I had on my thighs at lunch, that's all it would take, it would be as simple as that.

As I lowered the knife, I was stopped by a knock on the door. I wasn't expecting anyone to be home for another hour. I reluctantly put the knife down and went to the door, shocked to see Selena. "What are you doing here?" I spat.

"I'm here to stop you from doing something incredibly stupid." She said pushing past me and coming into my house.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I crossed my arms over my chest, trying to hide the cuts on my wrists.

"That's bullshit and we both know it." She hissed.

I jumped back, afraid.

Her expression softened. "Look," she sighed. "I know that I don't know you that well, at all, and I have no right to tell you how to run your life but I can't just stand back and let you kill yourself. No one deserves to feel the hurt that you're clearly feeling. I can't just stand back and pretend I don't know what's going on with you."

"Why not? Everyone else can!" I yelled, tears coming down my cheeks.

"Because unlike everyone else, I know ignoring the problem won't make it go away."

Selena pulled me into a tight hug and just let me sob. I felt more that day than I had in almost five years. She saved my life that day, and I owe her everything.


End file.
